Feeding ammo to Magpies

You lookin' at me.

You lookin’ at me.

AT the review meeting on Monday Ross told us not to feed the Magpies with any ammo before Saturday night’s game. It was because last year one of the players said something about the Magpies not being good at something and they heard it and became good at the something.

Later Micky Barlow told me the something was the Collingwood spread. I said, with an unenthusiastic lick of my lips, I didn’t like the sound of Collingwood spread but I thought feeding ammo to Magpies sounded like a good idea. Micky said he might use that one on his TV show but maybe not this week. Maybe after he retired.

I’ve had a lot to do with Magpies over the years while training at Fremantle Park and I’d love to write about what I think of them. But team rules are team rules so I’ll talk about some other birds.

Bird one: The seagull.
I like seagulls because they don’t come swooping down trying to peck you on the head and fly away like chickens (or some other scaredy cat bird type thing that can fly) when you bark at them.

Bird two: The galah.
I like galahs because they’ve got a nice colour in them not just black and white. And they’re friendly and don’t come swooping down trying to take your eyes out just cos you walked past some tree that they think they own.

Bird three: The swan
I like swans because most of them are pretty. The black ones are pretty and are named after a football team from Bassendean. The white ones are pretty and can be found in Northam. The waddling ones with ink all over them are not pretty. And swans don’t come swooping down whacking their beaks into your back and accusing you of trying to take their babies when you didn’t even know they had a baby and anyway did they really think a little dog was going to climb up a great big tree and steal the babies out of the nest!

Bird four: The eagle.
I like magpies more than eagles.

 

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