*But is he as good as Frankie?
MY mentor Matthew Pavlich plays his 300th AFL game on Saturday night. He’s a team man and he says he doesn’t want the week or the game to be all about him. I’m a team dog and I’m happy to take some of the attention away from the Pav if that’s what he wants.
Matthew has been very good to me during my short AFL career.
• He gave me a lift to Mandurah for my first NAB Cup game.
• He invited me to his house with some of the other injured players when I had hammy trouble.
• He let his baby daughter Harper play with me and pull my beard (maybe that shouldn’t be in the ‘good’ things list).
• He lets me sit on his lap on plane trips for away games when I’m not sleeping on Sandi’s foot.
Now I love Pav – you do too – we all do – so don’t get me wrong but I was wondering the other day who was better – all round – Frankie or Pavlich? You have to be scientific in these things. You cant just say: “Frankie for sure” or “Pav’s a legend.”
So anyway I made up a questionnaire (I was going to get those NAPLAN people to do it but they don’t know what’s going on so I did it myself). I was really hoping Pav would win because it would be good for the papers and TV in the lead-up to his 300th game. And one thing I said to myself was that if science proved that I was better than Pav I wouldn’t go on about it.
I gave the questionnaire to all the players and coaches except Ross Lyon and Danyle Pearce – they were having a ‘meeting’ and I didn’t want to interrupt. You can do it to if you like. (Notice I put Pav first in the answer bit. Micky Barlow reckons Pav would get the donkey vote. “You’re a bloody donkey Barlow,” I said.)
Here it is…
The scientific questionnaire on who’s better Pavlich or Frankie.
Put a X next to the incorrect answer.
Sample question Who wears number 29 for the Dockers? Pavlich or FrankieX
Got it? Away you go…
1. Who has played the most AFL games? Pavlich or Frankie
2. Who has the most legs? Pavlich or Frankie
3. Who has a beard? Pavlich or Frankie
4. Who is only 25cm high, 35cm long and weighs 6.5Kg? Pavlich or Frankie
5. Who has their own website? Pavlich or Frankie
6. Who has kicked the most goals in the AFL? Pavlich or Frankie
7. Who has had the most wees on the MCG? Pavlich or Frankie
8. Who is the only dog playing in the AFL? Pavlich or Frankie
9. Who can sleep 20 hours a day? Pavlich or Frankie
10. Who would have been an Olympic swimmer probably if she (or he) hadn’t been chosen in the AFL Canine Draft (or the ordinary draft). Pavlich or Frankie
How did your scoring go? It doesn’t really matter what you think. I sent the player and coach questionnaires to a university and they said – and I quote: “80% of participants favoured Frankie; 20% Pavlich.” I reckon that was pretty good by Pav and just shows what a legend he is.
Make sure you’re at Subiaco Oval on Saturday night to cheer Matthew Pavlich onto the ground. And stay around to watch me and my team make kitty litter out of the Cats.
Footy note: Adelaide Oval was ok on Saturday even though we lost – we’ll beat Power next time. It’s funny going to Adelaide because when I’m out for a walk – like when I went clothes shopping with Aaron Sandilands at an upstairs place in Rundle Mall on Friday afternoon – people always nod and say g’day like they know me, not just as an AFL star but as an old mate. Micky Barlow reckons it’s because of my goatee. And I tell him it’s a full beard and if he calls it a goatee one more time he’ll wish he still had a broken leg.